Of Stripping and Stalkers
by Unsugar
Summary: Gray has a stalker, and it is not even Lluvia. Crack.


**Title:** Of Stripping and Stalkers

**Fandom:** Fairy Tail

**Rating:** PG (For language… and a bit of perverted-ness)

**Summary:** Gray has a stalker, and it is not even Lluvia. Crack.

**A/N:** My first FT fanfic. Thanks to Arina for giving me this random crack-ish idea. And no, you're not innocent. Far from it.

* * *

It was another job well done. They were in a town north-east of Magnolia, and the job was so easy they did not have to use magic to handle the illegal guild.

'_Or least, for me,'_ Gray thought as he gave another flying kick to another unnamed bad guy. Natsu used fire in everything he did, Erza preferred to use her armor whenever she fights, Happy was just a normal talking cat without Aera, and Lucy… Might as well stay at the guild without her stellar spirits.

That was why he could see burnt bodies around him, people thrown away by flying blades and a flying blue blur throwing random things (was that a carrot thrown over his head just now?) to their opponents.

From his right, he heard Lucy's screaming and Taurus exclaiming all kinds of perverted praises to Lucy and Erza.

And people said he was the pervert, stripping at random times. At least he did not physically and verbally harassed people.

Gray looked down at his body and nodded in satisfaction. He had somehow realised that he only _unconsciously_ stripped during fights that were actually worth his time, and this job was definitely not one of them.

"Gray, look out!"

He let his guard down for just a few seconds, and he was already thrown against a wall. He ought not to do that after this, being in Fairy Tail and all. He only had one life, unlike Happy.

"What the—Lucy, why is this stupid bull got thrown at my direction? Throw him at the enemy if you really can't take his harassment!"

"I'm sorry! Can you move?"

The ice mage realised belatedly that he could not move his lower body, not when the big-sized bull spirit was sprawled across his lap. "Lucy! Help me get him off me!"

The blond mage ran to him and helped. "He was harassing Erza again, and the next thing I saw was him flying towards you. I'm sorry, Gray."

But Gray was not listening. Rather, he was looking down at Taurus looking at him. An eyebrow was raised, and… _Was that a look of disappointment on that face he saw?_

"Gray?"

"Oit Lucy. This cow is acting strange…" A puff of smoke burst on his face and Taurus was gone.

"What is it, Gray?"

"… It's nothing."

Lucy looked at him strangely, before going back to making sure he was not injured by her spirit.

"Oit Gray! Taken down by a weak opponent?"

"I'm not, flame-head bastard!"

Maybe he was just seeing things. He shrugged it off, and proceed to kick Natsu's ass.

* * *

Gray was getting paranoid.

For the past few missions, he had somehow aware of a pair of extra eyes following him. Not all the time, mind you, but it was still disturbing.

And it was not even Lluvia, who he noticed had stopped following him. Old man Makarov said she was sent off to a few missions with Gazille, and even now Gray felt like kissing the old man.

But really, back to the current situation.

"Gray, you are distracted."

The black-haired man turned to Erza walking towards him, stern concern on her face. "This is not like you."

Gray was not the type to be easily moved by his emotions, unlike Natsu, unless it personally involved him and Fairy Tail. So for him to be distracted during an easy job concerned Erza in many ways.

"I do not how to say it without sounding paranoid, Erza," he rustled his hair in an uneasy manner, thinking hard about it.

"About what? Maybe I can help."

Gray sighed. He knew he can tell Erza anything. Maybe she could help with his random paranoia.

"It's about-"

**BOOM!**

Both of them blinked as the wall beside them exploded and four different figures came out from the other side.

"Natsu, that's too much!"

"It's not like we can find a door! Besides, I can smell Erza and Gray on the other side."

"Guys, you are already at the other side," Gray cut in, dusting off any debris that got onto his body. Sighing, he took note of how his shirt was destroyed sometime during the fight. Maybe he really should stop getting distracted.

He was taking off his ruined shirt when a squeak came out of nowhere. "Natsu! Lucy! Taurus is squashing me!"

"Happy!"

While others were trying to get the spirit to move, the ice mage noticed how the bull's eyes were _ogling_ him. After a few moments, he decided there was indeed something wrong with the bull.

"Lucy! Send Taurus back now!"

"… Huh?" Natsu and Gray looked at each other, realising that they had said the same thing at the same time. Natsu was understandable; his best friend was buried underneath the massive bulk, but Gray?

"Gray?"

Erza, who had been watching Gray and saw what happened, spoke up. "Maybe you should tell us what happened, Gray. I think it might concern Lucy's stellar spirits."

"EH?"

* * *

"Aahh…" Lucy sighed, her head on the bar back at the Fairy Tail guild.

"What's the matter with you, Lucy?" Natsu asked, mouth wide open to inhale the food in front of him.

"I was thinking about what Gray told us yesterday. It's weird and random."

"Yeah, it's weird," Happy agreed. "I never thought Gray has the same self-consciousness syndrome like Lucy."

"Shut up, I don't need your opinion on my personality," Lucy pinched the cat's cheeks. "But what do my Spirits have anything to do with it?"

The dragon slayer swallowed down a large chunk of meat. "Well, he did say he felt someone watching him during group missions. And you took out your spirits in all our missions."

"And Master has confirmed with us that he had sent Lluvia away for missions, so she was not the one," Happy joined in.

"Why can't it be someone else entirely? Someone not from the guild?"

Mirajane, who had been listening, spoke up. "No one outside the guild knows about the missions and who accepted them, except the clients. And if there's someone else, Gray would have felt it even during his off days. But it only happened during your group missions."

"And Gray looked a bit freaked out by Taurus, of all the spirits you have," Erza came out from one of the back rooms, Gray and Master Makarov following close.

"You don't have to say 'freaked out'," Gray murmured, not looking at the trio sitting at the bar. He could already imagine the gleeful expression on the flame mage's face.

"Gray~"

In a blink of an eye, Natsu was already hanging onto his shoulders, a gleeful, mischievous grin etched on his lips.

"Of all things, the perverted cow freaked you out? Since when you are such a girl?"

"Shut up, Natsu."

"That cow is only interested in _girls_, Gray. That tells us what gender you really are."

"Natsu."

"Oh, I'm sorry. You've stripped so many times it was obvious you're a guy. Or maybe Taurus know about you that we don't? What is it?"

"NATS-" **BAMM!**

"Now, we need to discuss about this matter." Apparently, someone else's ears were no longer able to take the excessive noise. Everyone else looked down the squished Natsu under the pumped fist belonging to Makarov.

"Are you sure it's Taurus?" Lucy asked. "I mean, he is a perverted spirit. But he never once said anything about a guy's body, let alone Gray's."

"Just ogling is enough to be called sexual harassment," Mira pointed out.

Gray blanched. Calling it sexual harassment surely sound wrong, and somehow, he felt violated.

"But why Gray?"

"Well, he strips a lot, so…"

"Natsu's only wearing a vest, and it has been ruined many times before."

"How about Grays body defines another meaning of 'nice body' that Taurus likes to say?" A new voice joined them. Beside Lucy, Loki stood as if he had been listening all the time. "Not that I agree with him. My definition only extends to beautiful ladies."

Everyone ignored the sparkle they saw behind the sunglasses as Happy asked, "You talked to Taurus, Loki?"

"Well, not really talk, but I noticed his behaviour recently. He's been sighing a lot, especially after missions. About what… Maybe you should talk to him in person," cheekily, the lion spirit vanished in a puff of smoke and was replaced by an anxious Taurus, whose eyes went straight to Gray.

Gray, who was wearing a half-zipped, close-fitting shirt, felt like changing into a winter coat under the stare.

No one thought that a bull could pounce like Taurus did, a minute after staring at the ice mage with love in his eyes.

"Gray-san! That shirt suits your 'nice body' perfectly!"

Taurus did not even get five steps closer to Gray when Lucy and Erza kicked him away.

"Uwaa~ So it's true after all!"

"Taurus! You're embarrassing!"

"This is an interesting fact to know…"

"Hahaha! Even a stellar spirit is attracted to you, Gray!"

"Erza, Master, that's not a nice thing to say! Gray, are you alright?" Mira asked in concern.

The younger mage, who had fallen onto his back at the sudden pounce, could only nod numbly. To be almost pounced by a non-human stellar spirit was more than enough to render him speechless. Now he really felt violated. How could Lucy and Erza stand all the verbal harassment?

Noticing Gray's expression, Mira could only smile sympathetically. "At least now you have a good reason to be fully clothed during missions, right Gray?"

Gray only groaned, as Lucy sent the spirit back after an angry reprimand and everyone else snickered at his response.

"It's not like I do it consciously!"

* * *

A month after that, after Lucy was asked by a still snickering Makarov (he was not the only one; no secret remained a secret in Fairy Tail) to refrain from using Taurus whenever Gray was around, him getting teased by Natsu and Happy, and Erza kept reminding him (in a sickeningly, not Erza-like sisterly voice) to bring extra clothes, a scream shook the guild.

"Wait! Is Taurus saying that Gray has a better body that me? That's-"

"SHUT UP, STUPID NATSU!"

"… He just realised that?"

It was just another normal, peaceful day in Magnolia Town.

* * *

**A/N:** How did this fic come to life? We were talking about how Gray has a better body proportion than Natsu. And how Taurus, who screams 'nice body' all the time, would take it.

Thank you for reading, and comments are well-appreciated.

Unsugar


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